Kelly's Look on Life

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Denial of service attack

In case anyone is using Feedly, the service is currently down due to a DoS attack.

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Ever Wished That Calvin and Hobbes Creator Bill Watterson Would Return to the Comics Page? Well, He Just Did.

This is a fantastic story. I loved Calvin & Hobbes growing up and can’t imagine how amazing this felt!

Pearls Before Swine

Bill Watterson is the Bigfoot of cartooning.

He is legendary. He is reclusive. And like Bigfoot, there is really only one photo of him in existence. 

Few in the cartooning world have ever spoken to him. Even fewer have ever met him.

In fact, legend has it that when Steven Spielberg called to see if he wanted to make a movie, Bill wouldn’t even take the call.

So it was with little hope of success that I set out to try and meet him last April.

I was traveling through Cleveland on a book tour, and I knew that he lived somewhere in the area. I also knew that he was working with Washington Post cartoonist Nick Galifianakis on a book about Cul de Sac cartoonist Richard Thompson’s art.

So I took a shot and wrote to Nick. And Nick in turn wrote to Watterson.

And the meeting…

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Stories of a Bender – Looking Ahead

Me, looking like I actual know what I'm doing...

Me, looking like I actually know what I’m doing…

Stories of a Bender was a series of posts that were features at my previous Chicago Blackhawks & NHL blogs. I’m going to continue with these stories here.

When it comes to my personal hockey career, April – June are the absolute worst. These are the only months I’m not playing hockey on a regular basis. April is when our winter season typically ends, and late June is when our summer session picks up. You know what that means:

April, May & June are empty and void, unless you’re talking about the inevitable pounds that get attached to my body.

And yet, the summer session has a certain atmosphere around it that’s distinctly different than our winter session. In the winter, all the teams play, and with their regular rosters. There’s the opportunity to win a championship which can earn you a trip to Toronto. It’s more competitive, less easy-breezy hockey. In the summer, some teams take the summer off, leaving a bunch of guys that still want to play to get assigned to other teams. You could find yourself lining up alongside a previous enemy, the closest a bunch of hacks like us can get to feeling like your team traded for a hated rival. This is also when teams bring on prospective new players, since the league fees are cheaper and they don’t have to splurge on uniforms in the summer.

Combine that with lots of people going on vacations with their kids, and guys just in general wanting to be outside some nights instead of playing hockey and you get spotty attendance, a slightly less intense dedication, and lots of guys sleepwalking through games.

I view the summer session as our preseason. This is when I can mess with line combinations (mostly because I have to) and move guys to different positions. Personally, I’ll play a little riskier, try things I normally wouldn’t when a trip to Toronto is looming as a potential end to our season.

There’s also the odd feeling of getting out of the rink, sometimes at midnight, and it’s in the nineties outside. Going from sweating in a cold rink, to sweating in a hot locker room, to finally sweating in the hot, humid, still summer air is brutal.

It’s also a time to either continue, or change, your personal progress. For me, this will be my third year in a row playing defense after playing center for the previous four. That first season on D was tough. Took a lot of energy to focus on the defensive side of the game, which as a center, should have been easier than it was.

Being more comfortable on D going into this past year meant I could start to grow my game instead of just finding it. I found that I had quite a knack as an offensive defenseman. I had the abilities to go end-to-end and score, get that long stretch pass to a streaking forward, or just generally start the breakout (when a bunch of hacks could actually get together and do a formal breakout). The last quarter of this winter was when I really found my game. In the final three games, I had five goals and three assists. I’m still making the defensive mistake or mental lapse here and there, but I feel much more solid and reliable, and the fact I found that offensive upside makes me feel better about the occasional defensive lapse.

I also looked at my career numbers in this league for the first time too. I won’t put them here, because I’m not looking to toot my own horn (although I don’t think you can consider under a point per game in rec league tooting your own horn), but it made me proud. It made me proud to see a numerical representation of all the effort I’ve put in for the last seven years. I will say, it’s exciting to know that as long as I don’t have a total stinker of a season, I’ll break 100 career points. That’s pretty cool to me.

But the important thing is that the summer is the giant reset button. Forget last season. Forget the 1-9 start. Forget the 6-4 finish that still left us out of the playoffs by only a few points. Forget the missed opportunities. Forget the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. Remember how it feels to step out onto that fresh ice, feel the wind against your face, and the pure joy of the first goal of the summer, and that first big win.

Here’s to looking ahead.

Daddy Said You Gotta Show the World The Thunder

I’ve missed writing.

More than anyone could really know. It’s cathartic. It’s self-examining. It’s a release. It’s a way to become something or someone I’m not.

It brings me confidence. It brings me attention. It allows me to put thoughts out on paper the Internet.

It exposes me. It makes me vulnerable. It allows the soft pieces of my persona to be poked and prodded. Mocked and chewed on and spit out.

It lifts me. It gives me a breath of fresh air. It lets me remove myself from life and everything within it.

I’ve missed writing.

But I’m coming back. And I’m going to write, and I’m going to force myself to continue to write.

Because dammit, I’m good at it.

And I’m going to write a book. I don’t know what about. Maybe depression. Maybe my life. Maybe hockey. Maybe I’ll pull fiction out of my ass. But I’m going to write a book. That’s been a goal of mine for a long, long time. And now, I’ll do it. I’ll figure out what to write about. I’ll put the first chapter up here, and hope it isn’t horrible.

But I’ve missed writing. And now, I hope to force some of you to suffer through this journey with me.

The Nashville Predators Has a Solution for YOUR Lockout Doldrums!

Yesterday, I was hipped to an email that the Nashville Predators sent out. Below is a screencap.

Snap_2012-11-17_at_16

Holy fucking hell BROOMBALL! Man, if there was ever any sport on the planet that could rival the finesse, skill, speed, and physicality of world class ice hockey, it’s definitely gotta be a bunch of schlubs playing BROOMBALL. 

Below is a list of all the things that are different between hockey and BROOMBALL:

  • Hockey is played on an iced surface. BROOMBALL is played on exotic concreate floors!
  • Hockey is played with sticks that are made out of things out of a science fiction movie: carbon fiber, synthetic plastics. BROOMBALL is played with what look like plastic training shovels that the summer intern scooping up monkey crap at the zoo would use!
  • Hockey is played with ice skates that are custom fitted, sharpened to the player’s exact specifications, and take advantage of advanced physics. BROOMBALL is played with gym shoes! Or not! Play in bare feet! Who cares!? It’s fucking BROOMBALL! WOOOOO!
  • Hockey is played with a disc of vulcanized rubber. BROOMBALL is played with what appears to be an inflatable ball that your infant would play with!
  • Hockey requires its players to wear equipment that is akin to body armor because of the violent physical nature of the sport. BROOMBALL requires helmets, gloves, elbow pads and knee pads despite being as dangerous as having a pillowfight with a bunch of 90 year old former Playboy Playmates!
  • Hockey goalies are known to be borderline insane, superstitious, and off-the-wall characters, and who can blame them for that when their job entails stepping in front of 100+mph slapshots from world-class atheletes. BROOMBALL goalies are known for the same, but it’s because they wear a catcher’s chest protector so the impact from a floating inflatable ball doesn’t cave in their chest!

And below is a list of things that are similar between hockey and BROOMBALL:

  • Both are played by carbon-based lifeforms.
  • Both are at equal levels of popularity at the moment.

In conclusion, go fuck yourselves Nashville Predators & Bridgestone Arena. Go. Fuck. Yourselves.

Hugs & Kisses,

NHL Hockey Fans Everywhere.

(P.S. – Stop calling people that bought group tickets to Preds games. In case you haven’t noticed, THERE’S NO FUCKING HOCKEY RIGHT NOW.)

Hossa Doesn’t Care for Hjammer’s Date Night Choice

Hjammerhossnotebookdate

 

The Conflict of Supporting Gay Rights & Participating in the Boy Scouts

Recently, the Boy Scouts of America reaffirmed their decision to exclude gay boys and gay leaders from participating in the volunteer group.

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